Do work, life, fun, romance, family, fun, the not-so-fun activities and not-so-enjoyable people all seem to mush together? Do you struggle to set and hold boundaries with people? And life? Often people who struggle with these issues also have some physical boundaries that can be improved in their home. Yep, it’s true! Here are some Feng Shui tips to help improve the boundaries in your life – all without one awkward conversation.
#1 You Have One Room that Serves Multiple Purposes
People who struggle with setting boundaries, often have homes that don’t have firm boundaries either. For example, they have their Office in their Bedroom. They often eat in their Living Room, and they use their porch for storage.
In Feng Shui, each room in your home has a specific symbolism. The Kitchen in Feng Shui is symbolic of where you nourish yourself; your Bedroom is where you get restful sleep and have your romantic life and your Front Entrance sets the tone for the overall energy of your home and your Career. Each one of these rooms and areas should be honored and used only for its specific purpose. When we mix other purposes into these rooms that is when boundaries become iffy in our homes – and in our lives. If you live in a place where the size or configuration does not allow to have a separate area for all the different activities you do in your home, see tip #2 below.
Unless of course, you want to intentionally change that meaning. For example, making the Dining Room your craft room or making the garage your workout area. But, if you do this, that purpose should fully be respected possible and not mixed in with other purposes.
NOTE: Having everything in a room support its intended purpose is most critical in your Bedroom. The Bedroom in Feng Shui is the most important room in your home because it is where you spend the most time, and it is likely where you spend most of your life.
#2 You Don’t Have Visual Boundaries for Rooms that Have Multiple Purposes
If you live in a place that either has an open floor plan or where it is necessary for a room to have more than one purpose, there are a few things you can do to create an aesthetically pleasing result and help you create better boundaries at home and in life.
The boundaries I see most frequently violated are someone’s office is in their Kitchen, in their Living Room or in their Bedroom. When I see an Office in someone’s Living Room I frequently hear, “I don’t have time for fun because I am always thinking about or doing work.” If someone’s Office is in their Bedroom, I hear, “I go to bed thinking about work, and I wake up thinking about work.”
All of this is very normal. Think if you had a gigantic picture of Santa Claus across from your bed. Would you go to bed many nights thinking about Christmas? Would you wake up with the same thoughts of the holidays dancing in your head? Of course, you would. Because it is staring right at you all night. This is the same when you have your work staring at you when you sleep and wake up. Therefore, it is important to have these areas be separate.
If it is not possible, there are a few Feng Shui tips you can use:
- If your desk is directly across from your bed, consider rearranging your room so your sleep and work are not across from one or another. If this is not possible, add a red piece of tape either under the bed frame closest to the desk or under the desk closest to the bed frame with the intention of keeping work energy away from your bed’s energy.
- Visually separate the spaces. If your Office is in your Living Room, put a rug over the Living Room space (or office space). Other ideas include, create a wall of plants between the two different areas, put up a shoji screen, add a low table or add a bookcase between the two areas. If none of these work with your space, you can also put a line of red tape under a piece of furniture where the two areas are closest to each other with the intention of keeping the respective energy from interfering with the other area.
#3 You Don’t Have Good Visual Boundaries with Your Neighbors
Considering the boundaries outside of your home, is almost as important as the boundaries inside your home. The symbolism of your Yard in Feng Shui is about the energy that surrounds you. We want to make sure that energy is healthy, supportive, and not being finagled with from outside sources. Do this by creating visual boundaries between you and your neighbors. This can be with a fence, flowers, bushes, trees, tasteful privacy screens and/or garden art. Wind chimes also help create boundaries between neighbors and are especially useful if you have a noisy home next door.
If you live in an apartment, if you can’t add landscaping or if you want to go the extra mile in keeping outside energy – out – put up a Feng Shui Bagua Mirror (or any other mirror). Have the mirror side point towards your neighbors. (You should be looking at the back of the mirror when you see it. The mirror side should face the neighbor.)
I have six Feng Shui Bagua Mirrors in my house with one facing towards the downstairs unit, one facing towards each of the four walls and one facing upward. I don’t have a neighbor above me, but I have one just to keep any nefarious roof issues from bothering us. None of the mirrors must be seen to work. Feel free to stash them in a closet, cupboard, behind a piece of furniture etc.
#4 You Keep Pictures of Friends, Family, Kiddos, Deities, Strangers, James Dean and Anyone Else in Your Bedroom
The Bedroom is for two things and two things only: rest and romance. You do not need the assistance or the interference of mom, dad, grandma, the kiddos, Uncle Ted, Jesus, Buddha, some stranger who you happen to have a painting of and/or any or all of your BFFs in either of those activities. Having them in your Bedroom only hinders your rest and romance. As a rule of thumb, no “eyes” (or pictures) in the Bedroom except for your and your person’s. Make sure the pictures of you and your person are of you both together – not separate.
